Foster carer stories

Sally and Simon have been carers for over eight years. Here, Sally talks about their journey, memorable moments involving children they’ve looked after, and how being parents of five has equipped them for the challenge of fostering.

I guess we could be described as veteran foster carers now! We’ve got our five years award, but it was delayed by COVID, so we’ve been carers for eight years in total.

In that time, we’ve looked after over a dozen young people – sometimes we nearly lose count! They’ve all been different, with unique challenges.

We first talked about fostering around twenty years ago. We have five children - four boys and a girl - and professionally I work with children with emotional and behavioural difficulties, so it was quite a natural thing for us to consider. We felt capable.

I have my own health issues to consider, so I didn’t want very young children. We were able to specify an age range of five to 18 years.

But it’s rewarding and it’s funny how that can hit you. I met one of our older fosters last year, it was the first time since he left us a few years ago and he’d grown about four feet! We had a chat and he asked how the family were and everything, and then just as we were going our separate ways he reached out and hugged me! It is not something he did when he lived with us, and he just said: “Thank you.” 

It was recognition that he needed us and that wasn’t always apparent at the time!

We’ve had official recognition when we were judged outstanding by fourteen panellists, but this was different, unexpected, and special.

It’s also happened with a teenage boy who lived with us. I overheard him telling our own son how lucky he was to have a mum like me. These are boys that take two hours to get up and out of the house in the morning, they’re messy and demanding, but hearing that makes it all worthwhile.

Our own children are a diverse bunch, and we have experience of LGBT+ issues and neurological development disabilities. We like to think we have the skills to cope with whoever needs us.

I think we’ve been fortunate as people and in terms of our collective beliefs, as well as our own life experiences, giving something back is important to us. There are so many children out there that just need a home. Obviously, one stipulation is having the room available, and we have three! I’ve always made time for my own children and that has now extended to the extra ones we care for.

My advice to any prospective foster carer would be that you’ve got to be prepared mentally, you must have time for the children and it’s best not to be too materialistic!

You also, obviously, need to be mindful of who they are and where they come from. It’s your job to make sure this stop on their journey equips them for whatever comes next.